The Top Ten Reasons Why Tim Tebow Should Marry Me.

Here are the top 10 reasons why Tim Tebow should marry me from most important (1) to just graspin' at straws.

1.) I love and will always love Jesus more than Tim Tebow.  Forever.  Now don't get me wrong Tim Tebow is a handsome HANDSOME man, and I am sure if I met him, and if we had that connection I would fall fast and I would fall hard.  However no matter how fast and how hard I would fall for that ruggedly good looking man, I will always love Jesus first and more.

2.) I am wholesome yet stylish and have blond hair.  Come on Tebow, I know you're from the South and from what I've heard southern boys love blond hair.  I can buy a bottle of aqua net if need be.  Shoot I was barbie one year for Halloween.

3.) I can cook and think I could make southern food if I try hard enough and get the right recipes.  I have 3 brothers, I know a way to a man's heart is food!

4.) I love sports watching them and playing them and yet my favorite color is still pink.  What does that mean?  I get to enjoy the best of both worlds the sports side in the guys world with no fighting or testosterone and the pink girly side of the ladies world... with everything that comes with it.

5.) I'm not crazy despite what this blog post and entire blog in general might say.  I am not into stupid girl drama BS, but at the same time still LOVE my girl friends.

6.) I too come from a family of 5 children and am the youngest.  Why is this important might you ask? It's not except for it's a similarity we share, an understanding we could have, a connection if you will.

7.) I WILL laugh at all of Tim Tebow's jokes.  Not because I feel like I need to stroke Tim Tebow's ego (not that he would ever give into that, most humble Bronco I've ever seen) it's just I love to laugh and would most likely find all of Tim Tebow's jokes funny.

8.) I'm a dog person, nuff said.  I don't currently have a dog due to a current roommate but when I do I already have two names picked out if it's a boy: Humphrey Bogart and if it's a girl: Betty Davis.  I think putting Tebow at the end of those names has a nice ring to it don't it.

9.) My whole family already loves Tim Tebow, it would just be so easy.  He would be welcomed in as the 5th son (my 3 brothers and brother in law being the other 4).

and finally
10.) BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

Alright so those are the 10 reasons why Tim Tebow should marry me.  He is a handsome Jesus loving man.  I know there are some in my neck of the woods, but its fun to have a crush on a person who will never know you... or is that a stalker... shoot I just turned into crazy girl number five.  Oh well.  GO BRONCOS!!!

Peace Love Flowers
Lisi

PS Don't think I am crazy but I laughed out loud when I saw this oh Tebow when will you ever find me?!

I Love Laughing

I love laughing.  That's it and that's all.  Just because I laugh often does not mean I am dumb, because I get/understand lots of jokes, and I laugh at them.  What it does mean is that I am light hearted and don't take myself to seriously.  Often I get insecure because I laugh and giggle a lot and tell lots of stories which makes me laugh (yes I laugh at my own jokes, deal with it).  But I am not being anyone but my loud crazy self so love me or leave me.... I would prefer it if you would love me though!

Anywho back to laughing, I like to laugh, I want to laugh at all times, and I think it had been a while since I had a gut clenching laugh out loud moment but I have been having them lately again and it has been so fun!  If I tried to tell the stories it wouldn't be very funny, but I laughed so hard at my roommate the other day that I spit coffee out on the floor... she was not happy about that part... which I laughed even harder at.  Oh man I love being able to laugh and am so sad that there are people in the world who are unable to laugh or have nothing to laugh about.

Well that's all.  Chuckle Chuckle tee Hee.

Lisi

I Write Blog Long Time

I realize I have not written on this blog in LONG TIME (Racist?  Maybe but I just love that expression).  So here is the deal the biggest reason I probably have not written in a long time is not out of business with work, church, masters degree, and trying to maintain a social life (which by the way I am trying to do right now, but am waiting for my friend to call!!!) , but just nothing really that exciting happening.  So what am I gonna write about while I wait for my friend to call????  Nick names.  I love, LOVE giving people nicknames, I just do it without thinking and lot I would write down all the nick names I have for people.

Nels (my brother)- Brother, nelsie, nails... well I guess that's it
Katie (my sister)- Sister, Kerty, Mrs. Redden
Random man that I can't remember his name- Kniefy (not my best work)
HomeSchool Friend from Mt. Hermon- Homeschool Player, Budnick
Justin (neighbor next door)- Fancy Facy, J-Bear, McGee, White Trash McGee
Brian (neighbor next door)- Shirtless Joe, B-Money, Brad
Paul (protperty manager)- Paulikins
Ben (office manager for property manager)- Benny-Bear, Benny-Benny-Boo-Boo, Benny-Kins
David (friend of mine)- Manbo, The King of Country, Kansas, the King of Kansas, the King, KoK
Mike (best Hawaiian ever)- Mikey, Michelobe, Mic, Hawaiian, Haole

There are more I just cant think of them, and after looking at this list I realize that it seems like I mostly just give the guys in my life nick names... whoops!

Lisi
PS This is my FAV song right now!  Might be listening to it right now as I type!!!

Being a Woman Can Suck

Being a woman at times can kind of suck... don't get me wrong I love, LOVE, LOVE being a girl, but at times it sucks for the following reasons.

1.) Girls don't like each other.

      Now, this isn't COMPLETELY true, but mostly.  Girls will drop other girls in a millisecond for a 

      guy.  Freakin men do not do this.  Also so many girls do the whole "I just like to hang out with 

      dudes; I don't get along with girls." which basically means they are wanting to be the girl who can 

      chill with the dudes, but in reality they are not that girl.  Because the girl who can chill with the 

      dudes also likes hanging out with girls and doesn't label herself, because guys don't label themselves.  

      I may have been hanging out with a guy whom I have a secret crush on, and we went to the "I only 

      like to hang out with guys" girl's house, and she was NOT friendly to me in the slightest.  I think she 

      liked the guy I showed up with, or she was frustrated I came, because turns out I am in all actuality 

      kind of a girly girl.  

2.) Guys have all the power.

     Now again not COMPLETELY true but mostly.  The one and only guy I have kissed I am  

     embarrassed to ever see again because I am terrified he is going to think I am in love with him (which 

     I am not, but for some reason I assume he is going to think that).  The problem is, you know this guy 

     in question hasn't thought twice about it, nor is he embarrassed to see me, which leads me to believe 

     HE HAS THE POWER.  Also the man I am currently secretly in love with has not called me since 

     last Saturday... today is Thursday... WTF.  I mean that obviously means he is not interested but it's 

     not like I can call him and be like "so what's up" I mean I could, but that would be seen as desperate 

     but I think he is handsome and can't stop thinking about him which is silly because it's not 

     reciprocated.  I guess in that instance it's not the man having the power fully its that I like him, he 

     doesn't like me, but guys are the ones who are supposed to do the initiating.  

3.) Child birth, nuff said.

and lastly...

4.) "Guys are visual"

     The above statement is so full of crap because basically what it means is "Guys are picky about your body and what you look like it's ingrained in them so it's OK".  Don't get me wrong, you need to be attracted to the person you are with, and so if the guy is not attracted to a girl, I get it.  BUT that means that nature has made it so that we have to live at higher standards than the male, we have to have the perfect beach bod, BECAUSE its the nature of man.  Where as with girls we are "emotional" and can fall in love with personality which makes a man sexy and handsome.... BOO! 

Well I guess thats all...

Lisi

PS

Funny Quotes and Moments From Camp

I went to camp last week with my junior highers.  It was super fun, and super hilarious.  There were so many good quotes and moments from the week that you had to be there for but here are a couple good moments.

1.) During girl talk, during cabin time one night, all the girls are talking about the boys they like when one girl starts talking about a fellow leader named Matt, her exact words "So guys you know Matt?  Have you SEEN his hands?  THEY'RE HUGE!!!"

2.) One of the junior high boys after asked about any drama during camp that week cleverly replied "Theirs a lot of drama between my butt cheeks right now!"  (SIDENOTE I know I am a girl and shouldn't laugh or repeat bathroom humor but this was so funny to come from a junior high boy."

3.) I told the girls that I have a few handsome friends with whom if they asked I would go on a date with, they asked me for a specific name and I gave them the name "Sergio" (which naturally is made up) the rest of the week they talked about Sergio and when cell phones were turned on while on the bus ride home they all asked if Sergio had sent me any texts or voice mails.  Alas a couple of "Sergio's" had.  I later began receiving texts from my girls whenever they came across a Sergio.

In other news some PAH-RITTY big stuff went down the night before camp, and during the week of camp that I am still coming to grips with.  I went to a mojito party today which was PAH-RITTY epic and helped me to not think about all the stuff that went on whilst I was away.  Hooray for mojitos, hilarious conversations, and me putting my foot in my mouth.  Here is a picture from camp which is pah-ritty good and telling.

Cheers!
Lisi

I am Giggly!

I am giggly (as said in the title).  As I type this I am smiling like a fool, taking a deep breathe, and throwing my face into my pillow giggling.  I am giggly.  I don't know why this is.  Perhaps it was the embarrassing mishap of last night which I shall share later in this blog (although as said in an earlier post I don't get embarrassed so it wasn't REALLY embarrassing just enough to possibly make me giggle).  Perhaps it was the 6 cups of iced coffee (about 2 large mugs worth not 6 mugs worth) I had today that would put my stomach in knots giving me the false feelings of giddiness making me giggly, perhaps it's anxiety, or perhaps my body is trying to tell me I have a crush on somebody, who knows.  All I know is: I.  Am.  Giggly.  On my way home from work as I was smiling and giggly the following song came on and I screamed and worked it out sooooooo hard in my car, how could I not?!

Man did I work it out to this song.  After I parked the car and came in I decided I needed to blog with my crazy giggly self (after, of course, some much needed FB stalking).  Which brings me to the next topic of business, my kind of embarrassing mishap of last night.

So I went to Creekside to go line dancing (it's all the rage in SB).  So one of the guys who I went on a camping trip with came and picked me up to go to the Creek (sweet fellow to do so).  So upon arriving we learn 2 line dances.  Now everyone knows I love to SHAKE it, like seriously I shake it so hard somethings bound to break (preferably the hearts of men all over the world HAH just chalk that up to my giggly mood).  So anywho to my shock and chagrin I am just OK at the line dancing.  Again shock and chagrin, I thought I could keep a beat I mean I sing, and pretend to play piano, and strum a chord or two on the guitar, and have banged on the jimbae a time or two, so I thought I had pah-ritty good rhythm.  This is where the semi embarrassment came in.  The fellow that I had come with being a sweet and sacrificial gentlemen (or possibly masochistic it's yet to be determined) asked me to 2-step when the 2-stepping songs came on (again sweet fellow) and let me tell you: IT. WAS. UGLY.  I couldn't be led, I couldn't stay on beat, first I was hip to hip with him, then I was facing him and almost stepping on his toes, then he has to tell me that I should take bigger steps because it's not salsa all the while my head is looking at my over sized boots and I am basically just marching around the dance floor in circles.  It was bad, the sweet guy endured this train wreck for two whole songs then made the wisest decision of his adult life and found some other partners.  Now there were a couple big cowboy men who were so good that they could throw an ungraceful girl gracefully around like a rag doll when she is unable to throw herself around, but this sweet fellow who agreed to drive my uncoordinated ass was a normal person who should and was able to lead another normal person... not me.  It was bad and ugly.  So moral of the story is I need too learn how the eff to be led, so that men will want to date me and dance with me, because if I saw a recording of my dancing I wouldn't want to date me and I love me!  Also bad dancing may make me giggly.

Still giggly my friends, still giggly!

Peace, Love, Flowers
Lisi

Interesting Encounters at Farmers Market

o there are some interesting characters at and around the farmers market and I like to people watch so here are some of my experiences and some quotes.  

Creepy Man: "Great Smile" as he is staring straight at my legs.

Terrible Mother: "Ewww gross, Honey" after her daughter sets her own bag in an unknown substance and the mother turns away from her daughter in shame.  

A Woman walked by in tight overalls and cowboy boots.  Interesting, but not cute.  

Random Foreigner Group walking by:  "Lei Hump"  

The man selling peaches was generally offended by my blond moment of believing his sarcasm, you said it, I believed it, so why are YOU the one offended by my stupidity.

Rando Girl walking by I may know: " He obviously has babies"

An extremely EXTREMELY pale man waring a SUPER tight white, translucent tee tucked into awkward khaki pants and doc martins.

Lots of Handsome Farmers could be seen, but the lack of deodorant may be a deal breaker.

The Peach man who was offended was more macho then most selling at the market, so he appears to be a true "Farmer" and not a gardener.

Very Handsome older gentlemen was too old for me to be attracted too but not to old to be considered attractive.

A Farmers Farewell,
Lisi

PS

Embarrassing Moments

I do stupid stuff a lot... like A LOT A LOT!  I can't tell you how many times I have sent dumb DUMB text messages to dumb people, when I am feeling dumb.... or FB peopled more than I should have.... or just done something dumb.  That being said, it is rare that I get embarrassed by these dumb actions or let these dumb actions haunt me.  Don't get me wrong initially it happens and I am red faced and embarrassed but it passes, but when they don't pass that's when I get angry.

I hate, HATE when a guy makes you embarrassed and you can't shake it.  Like when every time you think about it you get the dumb chills or dread the day you accidentally run into them, or have to run into them.  I only have a few of those events in my life maybe 3 or 4, but it makes me really angry for some reason.  I did something dumb I get that, but it usually takes two to tango so if there is someone else in the situation who is continuing to make me feel dumb, I get really angry.  Now this is not them making fun of me, because chances are I deserve it and can take it.  What makes me angry embarrassed is when they are either arrogant about something or embarrassed for you.  Like they are looking down from their sky high chamber and feeling bad for the peon below.

Now I haven't had a situation like this for a while, and thankfully am currently not embarrassed about anything (although there is one event I have a twinge of embarrassment about and depending on a arrogant man's reaction in an interaction in the future will determine whether the twinge passes or turns to anger).

What it comes down to is probably that I am angry I did something dumb, and I am embarrassed about it and mad that this person keeps making me feel embarrassed, when in reality I tend to not be embarrassed... I guess the moral of the story is my embarrassment turns into anger.

Peace, Love, Flowers
Lisi

PS Everyone loves a good cowboy, thank you Santa Barbara for delivering such a bounty.

PPS

Random Facts About my Recent Occurrences in my Life

So I took the GRE yesterday, I did very poorly... I think... BUT I did well enough to get into the one Grad school the GRE was required for, so yet again I did just enough to get by, C's get degrees!

I had someone tell me recently "I just love school because I love to learn" I immediately thought what they really wanted to say was "I want you to think I am an intellectual and be impressed... also I take myself very seriously".

I am very immature and act like a junior high girl much of the time... I think this blog is proof of it... also what's proof of it is how much I facebook stalk, I should grow up a little bit.

What's not cute is when girls clean their teeth with their tongues, whether your mouth is open or closed it is gross, do not do that in public ladies.

I have been attending many a happy hour now that I am living in a downtown flat living it up with my fellow downtown diva roommate, and I have discovered through multiple occurrences and experimental research that men whom you are friends with who typically are friendly but no overly friendly become overly friendly when they have been drinking.  I cannot tell you how many men who are not on a "hugging basis" with me quickly become on that basis when I run into them after they have had a beer or too.

I do wish that I could be as brave as I am when I have had one cocktail or when it is way late and I am less than lucid from sleep deprivation, because that is when I definitely do not hold back and make friends.

Tell the next flow of words come through my blond head!
XOXO
Lisi

See Not Cute

Embarrassments and Mistakes

Alright so seeing as (like said below) this is kind of just an online diary that is vague, I am going to confess that right now I am feeling a wee bit embarrassed.  Why might you ask?  Well, because of what is brought up in almost every post of this blog.... MEN!

I am embarrassed by the men I have chosen to spend time with, have crushes on, and flirtations I have taken up with in the past.  At the moment there is no one of particular interest, some handsome men I go to church with but at the moment no prospectives or any flirtationships to speak of.  Which led me to think back about the guys I have been into in the past, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!

Like seriously, looking back it's shocking to think that many of these mens I was thinking "oh my gosh, he is soooooo sweet, and so handsome, wow we are GREAT together".  What reality was I living in?  Many of these mens were arrogant, or selfish, or unable to hold intellectual convo, and clearly I am SUCH an intellectual (heavy sarcasm).  Unfortunately I believe I am an easily wooed and charmed lady.  The lines guys give that I just eat up, my goodness where do they come up with these things.  I mean some of them are really nice and straight forward "Hey you are beautiful".  LOVE THAT!  It's when they start to try to create some connection or false emotional attachment that I know are easy pick up tactics but I allow myself to be picked up.

Well at least I can say the amount of mistakes I have made I can count on one hand, one finger even (I'm still embarrassed about that finger might I add).  So all in all I guess keep the flattery and charm coming, because I'll fall for it, but please don't be someone I will be embarrassed about later (I'm looking at you one finger).

Hugs and Kisses
Lisi

PS

Procrastination

I am supposed to be studying for the GRE right now, but instead I decided to write an entry on a blog that no one reads, so I guess this is an online diary that is not hidden in the slightest but also not out on the dining room table.  This is the type of diary that someone would find sitting on my bed, they are only going to find it if they know me well enough to be allowed in the inner sanctum that is my bedroom.

I was thinking today how much I love my bed, but how if you were to say to someone "I try to spend as much time in bed as possible" they would either think you were lazy or a bit of a hussy.

There is a new tall handsome man whom I have recently met.  I might have insulted him in my stunted adolescent awkwardness by calling him a creep, something that only my friend was supposed to hear, and that I didn't mean, but if he heard me then I have become the creep.

I am moving downtown and am excited, we have a cute little apartment above a bread and cheese shop.  I feel so french already, now I just need to get the french snob attitude down.

I have a feeling the GRE will be very difficult for me simply because I am not preparing for it, my bad.

Many girls try to do the marrying rich thing, which is great for them, I could almost understand it except for what good is all that money when you can't stop throwing up, because if I had to kiss what they were kissing you know I would have a sudden case of IBS and be ruining all the nice stuff that sugar daddy was buying me.

The following is the stupidest texts ever written:

T1

O I've had too much and am now dancing with others who also have had too much they another bottle to the tAble their bad

T2

Way too old but it's free which is a mistake former which o w

T3

I'll regret I the morning and pretend it will never happen u never texted u on the morning they atte playing hip hop and just gave the bottle to drink for me

T4

Angela say no tomorrow morning I won't talk to u, buy it's free now everyone

T5

Oh my I'm so embarrassed already

XOXO,

Lisi

PS

Conundrum

When you don't like to run and you don't have a gym membership working out is tough to do.  Before moving out of the parental units home, I would do the elliptical and free weights, but now what to I do.  I guess, long walks and trying to force myself to be a runner... or look into a gym membership, quite the conundrum.

I hate overly theatrical people, girls trying to be funny and they aren't, and acting when you are not in an acting arena, yet people always ask if I was in theater.... insulting conundrum.

A handsome man is believed by many to be interested in me, but a pint-sized hussy is going full court press on him, and I am not one to fight over a guy who I am not even sure I am interested in as of yet.  He has to make the move OR I have to take the pint out right.... conundrum

I want a tan but I don't want skin cancer... conundrum.

Lisi

PS
they can feel the burn

Tired

I am so tired.  I have never been so tired in my life (vast over exaggeration, but still true).  I made the biggest mistake of my life today however (again another vast over exaggeration), I went to Ross... TIRED.  Crying babies everywhere and chaos, when I can barely walk or talk, BIG MISTAKE!  I had to get some drapes for my newly acquired windows in my newly acquired room so that the newly acquired man who lives in the garage would not see the newly acquirer's acquirement's.

I like my new room, it is small, but very cute.  And a little too decoratively similar, lets just say that in this room the expression "the carpets match the drapes" is both accurate and not in anyway a sexual innuendo.  That is all.  Except for I always have to add something about men, shoes may be a make it or break thing for me, in you can tell A LOT about a man by his shoes.  I got the dumb chills for a very handsome man today because his shoes were so ridiculous.  I am sure he thought they were suave and I am sure they were very expensive (bc that handsome man is just that type) but they were like pointy in the front.  Come on bro, COME ON!

Lisi

These make me throw up a little bit, but still not as bad as bro's shoes today, BRO!

Watches, Toes, and the Inevitable Topic of Men

* I decided the other day that watches are classy, especially nice ones.  Men with nice watches often appear to me to be more handsome, does that make me a gold digger?

*  When someone is telling you gossip, you often then are considered to be gossiping which is not fair, what are you supposed to do turn off your ears.

*  I am only 23 years old but I may very possibly be an old woman the reason being the following: I love Jello, custard, tapioca, and cottage cheese,  I enjoy going to bed between 9:00 and 10:00 many nights, I'm attracted to older men (not grandma age but a good 5-7 years).

*  My least favorite part about my body are my toes, they are just funny looking.

*  I am probably pretty lucky to have the least favorite part of my body be my toes, many girls it would be a more significant part of their every day life.

*  My boss told me today I looked unprofessional today, which was a shock to me as I thought I was looking DAMN good.

*  When I am with just girls I drink beer because it's masculine, but when I am with guys I drink froo-froo drinks because its feminine.  Moral of the story it's ok to act like a boy with the girls, but you need to act like a girl with the boys.

*  I think one of my brother's friends is so handsome but he is so quite I can't tell what he's thinking, but I guess if he was a chatter box I still wouldn't know what he was thinking either.

*  My coworker wants to set me up with this great guy she knows, but he has a girlfriend, if we started dating he wouldn't be such a great guy now would he.

I should probably change the title of this blog to I like to talk about guys because it seems that is all I ever write about, probably because I am a single girl ready to get my flirt on.... flirting is fun... making out is fun...

Lisi

PS I don't know what this is, but it made me laugh, but I guess... what doesn't?

Nosey Nosey Nosey

I am SOOOO nosey!  I try to pretty it up and tell people "No way dude, I'm not nosey, I just care about your life!"  and maybe that is true, but for the most part I am just interested in all the juiciness that your exciting life holds.

I think the biggest difference between being nosey (which I am) and being a gossip is that I don't discuss, hypothesize, or analyze with other people, and try to get the info straight from the source (although if someone else tells me some interesting piece of info I rarely turn them away.

Naturally, because there is a lack in my romantic life (as some have said I lead a very Rotic life {Ro-MAN-tic, without the man}) that is the topic I find most interesting.  I want to know how you met, I want to know what you like about him, I want to know why you are fighting, I want to know why you broke up, I want to know if I am allowed to go for him.  (Kidding just thought I would put it in there though).  I don't know why it interests me so much, it just does.

This weekend has been PERFECT to get my nosey nosey fill!  Went out last night with a group of people (felt like summer by the way, full moon, sundresses, at the ocean IN APRIL!!), but then after a fateful phone call of a lady who just needed her girls, we made it into a girls night plus one random man. Sugary cereal?  Check.  Beer? Check.  Dance mix CD?  Check.  Lots of giggling, yelling, discussing the inefficiencies of the male gender?  Double check.  All in all it was a good night/ weekend (as naturally the girls night turned into a slumber party) for girls, for noseies, and for the one brother who got to be one guy among a myriad of very attractive women!

Peace, love, flowers!
Lisi

PS going to an Earth day festival today in a flowy dress.  I think I am going to bring a flower to have by my nose due to the lack of deodorant that I know will be there!

Irritation and Surprise

Right now I am irritated.  I am irritated because of an overly forward man who assumes things and only talks about himself.  Why is it always men, whom you are not interested in and have made this information abundunduntly clear,  who approach you and intrude into your lives, yet those men who you very much would welcome said intrusion and would find their forwardness charming, keep there distance until you send them a letter, text, telegram, and smoke signal that you are interested.  Irritating.

I enjoy surprises.  There is something exciting and possibly dangerous of the unexpected.  Because of this anything I am curious about I call a surprise.  I don't know what the day holds for me, it becomes a day of surprises.  If I don't know who will be at a party, it becomes a party full of surprises.  I like being excited, I guess.  Much better than being irritated.  SURPRISE ME!

Lisi

Interesting

I work with a lot of women.  This makes things at work often difficult due to our inert ability to be overly dramatic, petty, gossipy, and overall make things more emotional then need be.  That being said there are also a lot of men who work with me who are not within the office (cooks, gardeners, life guards and of course the maintenance men.).  Now I do not think higher of myself then I am, but for some reason most of these men LOVE me.  A lot of I think has to do with culture as most of them are of Latino descent and I don't know what it is but Latino men LOOOOVVVVVEEEE blond women.  I don't care what you look like if you have blond blond hair they are always going to yell "Mirada, mirada (translation "look, look").  Anywho, most of the men from work are also old enough to be my father so some of them treat me like a daughter, some of them try to flirt and one of them I think could be fired for the way he recently showed his affection to me.  

Grant it, this man is the oldest man, and often considers me (so I thought) as a grandaughter, seeing as his daughter is much much older than me and physically could be my mother but probably not my mother as she would have been 20 or 21 when she had me.  But he comes in and puts his arm around me, no big, and then is hand slides down to my mid back, still no problem.  Where it then goes lower and he gets a nice firm grip on my hip, slash love handles. 

Now maybe this was purely plutonic and there was nothing weird behind it, BUT either way had HR walked in things would have gotten real awkward real fast.  

That's all.  Oh and my fav coworker wants to set me up with her 30 something friend who lives in San Diego, I think I would like that, I think I would like a set up, and I know I like the age range.  I am 23 but I love a good 5 years+ between me and my men.  I guess I being robbed from my cradle...

Goo Goo Gah Gah 

Lisi

S'more Random Thoughts

-When handsome men who are the checker at the store, or on the street, or who I run into on my day to day business compliment me I love it and they are sweet, when a creepy looking man does it I cry and he is mean.

-Resident in the middle of activity with heavy New York accent: "Rick, RICK, R I C K!!!"
  Me: "(Insert Res Name), Rick's not here right now"
  Resident picking up her hand and putting it to her ear: "Rick, she says your not here right now"

-Every day this week when I have come home from work there has been a small, perfect snack size, homemade piece of pizza sitting on a napkin in the kitchen.  Now I know this is my brother making pizza and leaving me a piece (love him) but who I really think is leaving it, is the devil, because there is no way one can turn down that kind of an offer.

- The last date I went on was a surprise, the surprise being that I was going on a date... that I had to drive on... that lasted 8 hours... SURPRISE TO ME

-Text from me:  "I will be there in 5 I went out for drinks with my coworkers"
 Text 1 from friend: "Ok Boosty"
 Text 2 from friend: "I mean Boosty"
 Text 3 from friend: "I mean Boozey"
 Text from me:  "Alright who's the "boosty" now".

-Went to a friends house the other night with a group of people to go in the hot tub.  We were coming from downtown and I drove my car and another group took a cab.  Some guy named Ishmael who we had never met jumped in the cab, joined us at the house and joined us in the hot tub.  True Story.  Nice to meet ya, Ishmael.

The End.
Lisi

PS
My brother showed me this gem of a website: spoiledphotos.com

Then of course the classic: awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Friends

Friends are awesome, I love them.  BUT keeping that in mind there are certain types of friends as well as friendship levels.  Certain friendships are the type and level that you share every little thing with and certain ones are not.  It is important that before you share with someone all your "adventures" that the type and level of friendship is equal with the details of said adventure.

Basically if we are not close or have do not know one another too well, please don't share with me the intimate or embarrassing moments you have had with your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Please and thank you!

Appropriate Hugs and Kisses,

Lisi

PS

Texts

I got a text message from a boy (excuse me MAN) who has a crush on me (no I am not being egotistical or full of myself he has asked me out and I am hesitant) just to say hi.  His exact texted phrase was "Hi :), hope it's cool to just say that..."

Now at this point I am unsure my thoughts but when a lady gets that from a guy she may or may not be interested in or very much interested in, it is a GREAT thing (not so much if the thought of the guy makes you squirm with distaste).  I got that messaged and giggled and twirled my hair in my office as I thought of what I would say back, and I am not even sure about the guy.

Which brings me to my point, freaking A men, it doesn't take a lot, just send us a cute thinking of us a text and it will mean the world to us because the fact of the matter is "MEN DON'T TEXT".  Girls will think of some clever yet sexy yet witty yet hilarious text to send to you, and what do we get in response? ha.  Not even a Ha Ha with uppercase H's.  The fact is guys don't text, which is why if you send the lady you are interested in a "Hi, just wanted to say that text" you are in... not saying this guy is in... it just helped a little.

Until the next time,

Lisi

Finally Something Truly Random

I wonder if I were to meet me walking down the street if I would like me?  I think I would but I am not completely sure, because I  might find me too loud or too silly...

In other news, you shouldn't be friends with people on FB who annoy you, only those whom you care about or want to stalk.  The problem comes when they find you annoying but you want to stalk them...

When I say "Hey, how are you?" Don't ask me "Do you really want to know?" because once those words are said, no I don't want to know.

I hate when skinny girls say they eat whatever they want and they eat a lot of it, because that just means they are puking a lot in the bathroom, which is gross, especially when they've just finished eating dinner at your house.

I love beer, beer is not feminine, my mother says I need to be more feminine, I like men and eventually would like to marry one, so now I order my beer in a martini glass.

I walked by one of my residents the other day and she yelled out look at those cheeks.  I told her I had put on a little too much blush that morning, to which she responded "I'm talking about the ones on the back, oh to be young again!"

That's all, XoXo

Lisi

PS

Famous People Both Annoy and Intrigue Me

As said above, famous people both annoy and intrigue me.  I have always wanted to have a moment where a famous person is totally rude and demanding and I can look at them and say something to the effect of "I don't know who you are, or who you think you are, but that was rude!"  I know I would never do it because I am all talk and no action (typical people pleaser) BUT in my mind when I do this they are stunned, then angered, then humbled, then in awe and we become best friends.  Oh how I await for the day when I can pretend not to know who a famous person (bc lets me honest I am a total fame whore and know even the G list actors) is and in turn befriend them.  That is were the annoyance and intrigual comes in (yes I made up a word DEAL WITH IT).

Even though they annoy me with the arrogance and entitlement, there is something utterly fascinating about them, like the handicap monkey at the zoo or a car accident it's not necessarily pleasing to the eye and you may not necessarily enjoy looking at it but you can't look away and you need to know what is going to happen next.  To be honest one famous person who totally intrigues me and doesn't even annoy me (but I would still pretend not to know her so that I could befriend her) is Taylor Swift.  Seriously.  I have googled her and found out about all her songs and who she wrote which one about.   Like I said.  Fame Whore.

Hopefully the shiny, glitzy, glittery things will get old soon and no longer attract my attention.  Toodles.

-Lisi-

PS THIS GIRL MAY BE MY HERO.  I bet this is the proudest moment of her life, not bc I hate Robert Pattinson by any means (because I bet he would be a funny one to hang out with) but because she refused to get caught up in the anomaly and allure of that dirty hair and instead let her bitch flag fly and flipped the bird to Hollywood itself and what it's made of (BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE).

True Confession: I am a Facebook Stalker

There is something I need to confess, a struggle... no an addiction that I deal with on a every day basis I Lisi (insert full name here) am a facebook stalker.  It's true; people I am friends with, have just met, or may meet in the future I stalk their page like there is no tomorrow.  In fairness to myself as not to be clumped in with those who "like" everything and comment on everything I am a closet facebook stalker and am full of shame.  I don't like people to know about my dirty addiction, especially those in which I stalk, I have no "most embarrassing moment" in my life, but had someone I was FB stalking discovered my stalkery ways I would bury myself beneath my Egyptian cotton covers and never come out.  That is why I only look and peruse and limit my likes and comments.

Why do I stalk might none you ask?  Because I am nosey and curious and want to know all about the inward dealings of your life.  At a later date one might say "I posted pics from the party on my FB last night, did you see them" and being the addict that I am will look them right in the eyes and lie saying "No I haven't I will have to check them out tonight."  When in reality I have been refreshing and checking their page over and over again for the last three days waiting for them to load the pictures from the party!

Sadly most of my stalking is that of a junior high girl, I stalk those in which I think are handsome.  Like said handsome man in the previous post, or handsome man I flirted with at another occasion involving me in a fancy party dress.  I look at their pics over and over again, I see who they are becoming friends with, I maybe even stalk their friend's page to see what they are saying to them or the extent of their friendship, I have a problem.  I need help.

Now if any of the handsome men were to read this (and I assure you they will not as I do not advertise this blog in anyway, in the hopes that one day someone will stumble upon it and be shocked that this nonsense has been occurring AND said handsome men do not have the FB stalking disorder that I have as they are older, wiser, and handsome) I would deny deny deny that they were the handsome men I was referring too.  I would make up some long winded story about some man I met at some time whom has a very active FB page constantly updating, when in reality most of whom I FB stalk never do any updating or uploading of any kind.

Which brings me to my next point, I create my page as if someone is stalking MY page.  I try to limit my status updates to once a week UNLESS something is needed to be heard, I try not to comment on too many silly things, and when I do comment I try to make it some sassy snide and insanely clever and witty remark.  Who would analyze a page like this besides a junior high girl?  Me. Lisi (insert full name here) Facebook addict.

Now that I have confessed this ugly habit I feel better.  I have opened up my problem onto the inter web and feel that this is the first step in getting help.  Now if you excuse me I have forgotten what handsome man number 3 looks like in his facebook profile picture.  Until next time!

-Lisi-

PS I love the word Idiosyncrasy (DEF: a structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group), and would love to put it into my vocab more often.

My idiosyncrasy of using facebook to stalk people I hardly know will never stop because I love it too much.  

This was the pic I found when I google imaged idiosyncrasy... again lots of duh-hurty pics!

Being a Girl Can be Rough

So this is not a new observation, but I was thinking tonight that being a girl can be rough. Not the physical stuff (monthly visits, child birth etc.) but the craziness that happens in our heads. The over analysis of every situation, the drama many women create with one another over nothing, and the constant desire for clear communication (often not concise).

Now in general I try to steer clear of the drama and think I do a damn fine job of that, BUT it's the other two that kill me, especially when it comes to boys... I'm 23 I guess I should be saying "men". Now I was out with my ladies this weekend enjoying some dancing and some gal pal time when before the fun even began many of us had to set the texting ground rules; who we were and were not allowed to initiate a text with, if said textie texts us can we respond, if we respond what are we forbidden to say. Now I was not planning on drinking BUT I still needed to set these ground rules because girls do not just send the "drunk texts" when they are drunk but also when we get all caught up in our head and think it's a good idea to send a text letting them know we are thinking about them or pretending to send a text to someone else but "accidentally" sending it to them so they will respond. 

If a boy... excuse me... a MAN sends me a text out of the blue, immediately the analysis begins "what does he mean, what does he want, that little smiley at the end does that mean he is into it?" Us girls are constantly analyzing the relationship and communication with the bo... er men in our lives. Which leads to the next point, we want clear communication.

We want the man to say "hey I enjoyed a,b, and c but am not planning on embarking in the D that will lead to the R (d=dating r= relationship)." Yet if a man ever said that too us he would be considered a huge scumbag jerk, and we would ask over an over again how he could ever be so insensitive. 

Ladies, what the hell do we want? I will tell you what I want, to have the confidence to be completely straight forward and for the man to be completely straight forward without it hurting my feelings or confidence. Me saying "I am out with the girls and am thinking about you." and him feeling free to respond with "Don't think about me". 

Now I know this will never happen which is why being a girl can be rough. Now if you will excuse me I have a current situation to over analyze and man's number to change the contact info too "DO NOT TEXT OR CALL".

-Lisi-

PS soooooooooo true

Confidence; Something I Have Little Of

This past week I was in Sacramento for a few days for work and through some interesting turn of events realized that the confidence I don't have is very visibly seen to others.  I smile big and stand tall and am in no way scared to make new friends and talk to people.  But the big problem: initiation.  I will be hanging out with someone for a long period of time and instead of saying to them: "hey lets kick it at another time and be friends" I think scream at them over and over again "INVITE ME! INVITE ME! INVITE ME!".

The reason: I don't have the confidence to think that the person I am screaming at in my mind would want to hang out with me, and I need their reassurance.  HOW ANNOYING IS THAT?!  Seriously I hate the people who are constantly digging for compliments and constantly needing pats on the back saying "Your smart enough, your strong enough, and dog gone it people LIKE YOU".  But by not initiating and requiring it to be in someone else's hands aren't I doing that?!  Jeeze!  It's needy and it's gross!

Moving right along this confidence that I knew I didn't have I thought was hidden until I met a handsome acquaintance who pointed out the very visible lack of confidence.  SHOOT!  I wasn't able to fake it as well as I thought I was.  So new goal in the coming months, CONFIDENCE or at least feigning confidence or making others believe I am confident.

To be honest the handsome acquaintance gave me a little confidence with some well placed and worded compliments (BARF I refuse to ever find my worth in the compliments from a man again, even though I LOOOOOVVVVVEDDD the said compliments and the handsomeness of said man).  I like arguments that give reason and evidence, and I felt like the compliments were reason and evidence of why I should be confident.

So all to say, starting today I shall be confident.  Not arrogant because I want to punch people who are arrogant right in the mouth, but true confidence.  So thanks for the compliments Mr. Handsome, keep up the good work you are doing with your attractiveness!

Lisi

PS this is one of the pictures I got when I googled "Confidence".

My Beloved Sis is Now a Wife

My sister got married on Saturday and it was the very best Friday through Saturday (or the wee hours of Sunday morning) of my life.  I love my sister and I love her now husband.  It got me to thinking that when I get married (no date in mind, no hurry in mind, no man in mind) I will want to follow in her footsteps.

Not in marrying a Texan (although the Texas crowd certainly adds something to a reception that cannot be taken away) and not marrying a film guy (although I am DEFINITELY not opposed), but marrying the right man and making the wedding and reception a huge bomb diggity party.

Now there were a few in whom I felt partied a little too hardy, and took the class out of things, which made me think as well: don't invite those people to the wedding!  Don't get me wrong, there were no classless acts seen at the wedding but rather a of couple side comments made and some hanging out that occurred after the classy nuptials that made me think "I enjoy a beer (don't tell my mother), or a margarita, but I don't enjoy the tool next to me who has enjoyed 7".

But back to the wedding, my sister was looking (and is) so completely gorgeous my (now) brother-in-law looked (and is in a very brotherly way) so handsome (as were some of the groomsmen some in a brotherly way some in a very groomsmen-ee way) and it was such a celebration of such a good thing.  I usually am not one to get emotional or teary at happy things (kick a puppy in front of me and I will sob for hours) but this got me emotional and teary as I don't know if I have ever been so happy for someone, or had so much excitement for something as I am for my sister and for her marriage.

I love weddings, I love my sister, I love her husband.  I also love getting all dolled up and think I should do it more often.

I am also thinking that silly phrase at the bottom is lame, even if I am the only person reading this, and I am only reading this as I write it... so... Peace, Love, Flowers

-Lisi-

PS this is what I got when I google imaged "excited funny" careful though there are some DUH-HURTY (dirty) people out there who post inappropriate images.

Ross

Today I had the day off.  I ventured into Ross to buy some cheap artwork for my office (yes I am that classy to have "Ross Dress for Less" artwork on my walls at work) and my theory of many years again did not cease to be true; "what is that theory?" the zero people reading this may ask?  It is as follows

T1:  Between time x when one enters a "Ross Dress for Less" clothing store and time y when one exits the establishment one or more of the following will occur:
        -A child will have a temper tantrum whom is above the standard age to be
        considered a social normalise of tantrum.
        -A mother will ignore her crying baby and continue to be a consumer of great
        savings.
        -One will become incarcerated in a row of clothing by persons and their shopping
        carts on either entrance of said row.

Upon many years of field research I have found this theory to be sound.  Today the 1st and 2nd occurrence took place, the 3rd not happening largely due to my refusal to walk down a row of clothing.

What does this prove?  That Ross is as annoying as hell, and one should only enter when they have an ample amount of patience available to them.  Luckily I went in prepared and had a "flirting with your eyes" moment before entering which put me in an extra generous mood.

Welp until another set of useless and unnecessary thoughts pass through, keep on keepin' on!

PS Think about it

I Forgot, this is Fun, and this post is about Facebook

So I forgot to mention in the previous post what spurred me on to start this little brainial flow that's taking place.  I was on Facebook and naturally I was FB stalking when I realized I was FB stalking a.) people I could not stand and b.) people I could not stand who I wasn't even friends with on FB.

What compels a person to look up the person they don't want to read anything about?  The person that when they walk in a room people accuse you of murdering them with your eyes, the people who make you feel real awkward and then you get angry at them for making you feel awkward.  I don't want to see their stupid status updates just like they don't want to see mine, and yet here I am on their page, looking.  FREAKING FACEBOOK!!  I also find other peoples' status' annoying, especially when they are trying to be cute or funny when in reality that is exactly what I am trying to do with my own FB status'.  BUT I digress.

SO as I am on this annoying persons page, I notice they have a blog and click on it!  WHAT THE FREAK IS WRONG WITH ME?  I get enraged reading about them on FB and noticing their status updates every 3 minutes.  Yet now I am reading about their dog Sugar and husband Leon and their music video recommendations (which if I may be so bold as to suggest Rock Mafia "Big Big Bang".  Music video is crap but the song itself will blow you mind).

After navigating away from their page (after spending far to long reading "older posts") I was going to put something about annoying FB things in my FB status but thought "I wouldn't want everyone to read that".  So I put it on this blog which I really don't think anyone will ever read because how will they ever know to look for it, ya know?

SO That is how I came here writing incoherent messages, bc I wanted to write about annoying things on FB, and then just other things that pass through my mind.  Well that's about it... WAIT except for a piece of advice:
                *Ladies if you add the guy you are into on FB and notice there are only girls
                  who have written on his wall, that is a problem.  Don't waste your time
                  because those girls are you.  They added him as a friend(like you) and are
                  trying to do the casual "write on his FB wall thing".  Trust, me drop his ass,
                  and drop it fast!
                *Fellows if this is you, quit trying to be a pimp and pick one already.

Welp until another set of useless and unnecessary thoughts pass through, keep on keepin' on!

-Lisi-

PS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5etLRgwXmh0

The Start of Something Very New, and Very Weird

Most mornings or afternoons, or really any significant amount of time when I am in a bathroom and there is a mirror present (as if there are many mirrors without bathrooms; that is one thing I hope never to find. A mirror less bathroom) I find myself performing a monologue of sorts.  "About what?" the zero people reading this may ask.  About some way I would interact with some person at some point in life.  Most of the time it involves a person who at some point during life has slighted me in someway, and then in the 3 minute and 27 second monologue (which if seen by any other person besides my own reflection, would bring tears to even the burliest of men by the superb acting skills exhibited) I verbally kick their ass.  Or it might be a random fellow I interacted with (again within reality, not the realms of fiction within my own head) and within my theatrical brilliance will say something witty and genius yet flirty and fun naturally causing the eligible bachelor to fall in love with me.

 Again the zero people reading this may be asking "and the point of the above paragraph of ramblings?" and I shall answer with two points

1.) The before mentioned paragraph (mentioned by the zero readers of course!) is in the same nature of what this blog is going to be, the weird stuff that passes through my brain that I happen to be thinking about and that makes me laugh.

2.) What the hell? Zero people reading this, have you not looked at the title or heading, none of what you would ever read is going to make any sense or tie in with anything.

I thought about just telling stories from work, but I think there is some breech of confidentiality in that, so maybe I will tell stories and change names to Leon and Latisha.  Sounds like a plan to me.

Welp until another set of useless and unnecessary thoughts pass through, keep on keepin' on!

-Lisi-

PS How do we feel about having that always being my sign off?  I think I like it... it is just weird enough